ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
