Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
