what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize