I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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