So drunk its hurt
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
