Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize