i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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