his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
