Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
