Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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