i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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