but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
