I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
