she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
