Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
