just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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