also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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