Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
