Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
