I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's blow job season.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
