I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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