I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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