Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
