We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
