the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
