p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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