Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
