some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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