Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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