Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
