my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
