yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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