Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize