ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
