Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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