I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
