Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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