You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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