yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
