It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
