I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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