That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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