life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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