R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
