Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
