I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Farmville is her only friend.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
