is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just had sex bonerless
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
high people should be assigned attendants
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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