if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
