yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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