Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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