After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
