Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
