i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize