You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
