Me too!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
