She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
