i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just pee around me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
