Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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