i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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