hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
