You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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