It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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